We have all been there. We go to the doctor expecting answers, but we leave feeling broken and misunderstood. It was heartbreaking to constantly hear “you don’t look sick”. This is all too common to feel gaslight by doctors in the chronic illness community and learning to advocate for yourself at the doctors office is necessary to get answers. I learned very early on in my healing journey to do my research before my appointments and not leave the appointment without kindly demanding answers or next best steps that I felt comfortable with.
On average, a conventional doctor’s visit is only 15 minutes, so a lot needs to get packed into that 15 minutes! Functional Medicine doctors are typically longer, but the same principles should be applied. Your appointment is YOUR time to get the help and care you deserve. Sometimes this simple mindset shift can be really helpful. So how do you actually get answers and advocate for yourself at the doctors office? Keep reading for ideas that have helped me on my healing journey!
Tips for Advocating For Yourself At The Doctor:
Come to Appointment Prepared and Take Notes
Your doctor is really smart healthcare expert, but YOU are the expert of your own body. Only you know what is normal and not so normal. Before your appointment, jot down some questions and/or research you have done to prepare. I would always come with a list! If you have multiple symptoms you want to discuss, make sure to think about:
- How and when it started
- What makes it worse or better
- Any associated symptoms
- Things you tried to alleviate symptoms already (don’t trust that past symptoms are in your chart – they usually never have time to review prior to your appointment either!)
Check out my free Self-Care Tracker. I print this weekly to track my day to day symptoms and celebrate my wins too. It’s helpful to look back before my doctors appointments, so I don’t need to think so hard when preparing!
Also, if you have test results to review, make sure to bring copies with you. It is always helpful to also bring a list of your medications and supplements to make the admin portion of your doctors appointment goes smoother as well!
Oh and take notes if you can. Even jotting down a few words to joggle your memory is helpful. I recognize how hard that can be when trying to be present in the moment though!
Prioritize Your Concerns and Take Control
Do your best to take control of the appointment and ask your questions in order of importance, so if your time does get cut short, you have those answered first. I have even shown my doctor my list of questions and circled the most important to start with. I share with them everything that I am doing that is foundational to my healing as well, so they understand my lifestyle and that I currently use Bee Venom Therapy (BVT) to heal my chronic Lyme Disease.
Read more about my healing journey using Bee Venom Therapy here.
Bring Someone With You
Bringing a family member or friend with you for another set of ears can be really helpful, especially if the appointment relates to next steps on your treatment plan. It can feel very overwhelming as the patient, so do not feel shameful if you want to bring someone with you! If that is not possible, you can ask the doctor if its ok to record the appointment on your phone or small recorder, so you can listen back. I typically do this on my telemedicine appointments in case I need to refer back.
Ask Why to Understand Your Treatment Plan
This is my favorite tip when advocating for yourself at the doctor’s. If you don’t understand why a doctor is telling you something or why they are prescribing you a medication, ask them. If you would like specific labs or tests run, ask them and explain why you feel you need the labs (after researching prior of course). I used to be intimidated when questioning the doctor, but then realized doctors are human and don’t know everything. Now my doctor thanks me for bringing things to his attention. For example, I asked for my iodine levels to be checked with my full thyroid panel and he thought it was a great idea. You never know until you ask!
You have every right to ask for certain aspects of your care and also gain clarity on why they are recommending a specific treatment plans. Here are a few examples on how I kindly ask for clarification in the moment:
- Can you help me understand____?
- Are there other options that I can consider?
- When my results are back, how do I interpret them? Can you email me your full explanation?
Key Takeaways
Ultimately, this is your health and your life. The chronic illness community gets pushed around from doctor to doctor frequently, so it’s time to take a stand and take back your control! I learned to put on the “CEO of my own health hat” a lot these days and fired a few doctors along the way on my healing journey. I have learned a lot and now encourage others to do the same!
We have the right to advocate for ourself with doctors and ask questions to make more informed health decisions. Don’t be afraid to ask for your needs – this took me a long time to accept. You are your own best advocate!
Hiya! My name is Amy. I am a Lyme Warrior navigating my healing journey with my emotional support dog, Lola by my side! I rescued Lola girl in 2022 when I needed her the most, she is an Australian Shepherd/Border Collie Mix with lots of love to give. Buzz along with us as I share all things pet therapy, dog training and my personal healing journey from Lyme and all the things that accompany it!