When I was feeling my worst during my healing journey from chronic illness, the last thing I wanted to do was socialize. Social isolation crept in before I actively learned how to set boundaries for myself and also allow myself to grieve the once healthy vibrant young woman I was! I felt robbed of the experiences I just couldn’t do. This was hard for many of my family and friends to understand because I was always such a social butterfly! This created a lot of shame and guilt on my end. I am happy to say that phase of my healing journey is behind me, but I want to help others understand that they are not alone. The effects of social isolation is deep and effects more people than you think. I see you and I hope this blog post inspires you!
Below are some tips I learned along the way to get my social life back and feel more myself again as I navigated healing my chronic Lyme disease:
Tips for Socializing With Chronic Illness
- Prioritize Yourself
- Nurture Your Relationships
- Plan Ahead For Events Or Cancel
- Set Social Goals Each Month
- Get a Dog (you knew this was coming, right?)
1. Prioritize Yourself
To some, prioritizing themselves feels selfish and I was one of them for quite some time. I am a recovering people pleaser who wanted to just keep the peace! But the reality is, you need to take care of your physical and mental health above all in order to be your true authentic self! I learned to set boundaries and say “no” if something wasn’t serving me. I learned to re-learn to trust my intuition and follow my heart again – it feels amazing when you tune into your needs again. This is something I learned with Primal Trust Program – tuning into your own needs and expressing them is such a powerful tool and something I never really thought about until I was forced too. I often ignored my needs for rest, as I healed because I wanted to show up for everyone else or not to be a “burden”. I know ya’ll feel me on that one!
2. Nurture Your Relationships
Making new friends when dealing with chronic illness is challenging. I was lucky enough to meet a lot of fellow lyme warriors who use Bee Venom Immunotherapy (BVT) like me, which has made this healing journey SO much less lonely. They understand the good and bad days, so I don’t need to explain myself. As someone who has moved A LOT the last few years, I am still finding my groove in making new friends outside the chronic illness community, while still deepening my current friendships around the country! Unfortunately, some friendships are lost along the way on your healing journey and thats ok! True friendship always prevails. Life goes on. Learning how to navigate explaining that I sting myself 3 times a week with honeybees isn’t something I lead with when meeting someone new either, so that was something I had to learn.
I have really made an effort to prioritize time with my family and friends dearest to me, while also learning to communicate my needs and health goals. I am oh so blessed with an amazing support system through all this! One of which is my amazing boyfriend, who is my calm in the storm. Yes, you can find love when healing!
3. Plan Ahead For Events Or Cancel
While I am feeling SO much better than I was a year ago, I still have days that I experience not so fun symptoms from dieoff! This is when I prioritize my rest and increase my detox that day to listen to my body! These days are becoming less and less thankfully, but I still do need to cancel plans time to time. As most lyme warriors can relate, brain fog, fatigue, joint pain and shortness of breath are pretty common and not the most fun to deal with, but I try not to let them stop me from living life. It is a delicate dance to find balance!
The biggest challenges for me have been:
- Learning how to navigate safely eating out
- Not drinking alcohol at social events
- Navigating travel with mold toxicity
On sting days, I am still needing to avoid certain foods/spices and alcohol that can cause histamine issues and even worse anaphylactic shock if its a perfect storm. Don’t worry I carry an Epi-Pen! This will get better as time goes on and my mast cells stabilize, but I have had to learn how to communicate my needs more clearly to my partner and friends/family! I often plan ahead by looking at the menu and address with the waitress, as well. You are your best advocate! Enjoying a glass of wine is something I do miss, but I am getting very good at making fun mocktails to keep things interesting – no more hangovers for this girl! I make an effort to share with others to encourage creativity amongst my people too.
Due to my sensitivity to mold and mycotoxins, I need to be very careful where I spend my time indoors. This was pivotal on my healing journey to find a low mold home. AND very stressful. Let me tell ya, it was not easy to find a safe home with low mold in the Midwest (humidity is crazy here!), but it’s possible! Through a mold detox protocol with my doctor and nervous system regulation work with Primal Trust, I am becoming less and less sensitive. As for how I manage travel, I do my best to avoid older buildings or opt for outdoor activities like hiking or picnics and if I notice symptoms pop up, I simply communicate my needs and leave. If I can not leave, then I lean on my coping strategies to feel safe and remain calm. Trust me, I am still navigating this, but also learning to live in the moment and not try to control every little aspect of life. Going with the flow of life is a work in progress!
4. Set Social Goals Each Month
This may sound silly, but I often would set goals for myself on being social each month. I would tell myself, I will plan 2 gathering this month and really prepare to feel my best and energize for it! This works for phone calls as well, just to engage with friends and family! I also set goals to find other interests outside of the anything health related to help me keep my sanity. I know others can relate because it’s hard to think outside of our illnesses and not obsess over every little symptom. It was really freeing to refocus my energy at times and enjoy the little, yet big things, in life that bring me joy! This leads me to my next tip….
5. Get a Dog (you knew this was coming, right?)
Lola really helped me break out of my shell and get outside to meet more with people on our daily walks! It really did get me outside my comfort zone. While we had to work hard with training initially, she now loves the belly rubs from fellow dog lovers on our walks. She really helps opens up the door to many conversations with my neighbors, which I appreciate. Interesting that as I worked on socilaizing her with new people and different environments, I was also socializing myself! Funny how that worked out, right?
Final Thoughts
Socializing when you are navigating a chronic illness is incredibly challenging mentally and physically. So remember to prioritize yourself when you can, nurture your relationships with a strong support system, always plan ahead, set social goals each month and of course rescue a dog to get you outside of your comfort zone! Surrounding yourself with supportive people and avoiding social isolation with these tips can help support you on your healing journey. I know it has for me. I am finally living life, but honoring my body’s needs day to day!
Remember, be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can.
XOXO, Amy and Lola girl
This blog is for informational purposes only to share my healing story and offer hope for a better tomorrow and not give up on yourself. It is not meant to diagnose or treat any condition. Please work with your healthcare professional before starting any treatment plan for your safety.
Hiya! My name is Amy. I am a Lyme Warrior navigating my healing journey with my emotional support dog, Lola by my side! I rescued Lola girl in 2022 when I needed her the most, she is an Australian Shepherd/Border Collie Mix with lots of love to give. Buzz along with us as I share all things pet therapy, dog training and my personal healing journey from Lyme and all the things that accompany it!